Leggo My Lego Magazine

My son and I have resolved to make some changes in 2004. There will be no more loitering around the mailbox in anticipation of the newest Lego Magazine, no more wrestling over who gets first peek, what we´ll order or how much we´ll shell out for a 2000-piece Lego set. The madness must end.

It wasn´t always this bad. When Ryan was younger, our Lego expenditures were conservative and casual. Periodically, we´d buy a tub of the multi-colored bricks in order to build Lego towers. Occasionally, we´d acquire a small set and construct a diminutive robot. Nothing too extreme.

Then Lego Magazine arrived. Suddenly, we could choose from an array of Legos, the very abundance of which drove us to behave as if we´d been in a construction zone without our hard hats. No more simple cubes and crude buildings for us. We soon found ourselves reconstructing the entire Star Wars saga, including the Millennium Falcon, The Death Star, Battle Droids, and a miniature replica of George Lucas´s head.

We ordered more. It was just a few sets at first…a Bionicle here, a Galidor figure there, but then our Lego hunger became near ravenous. Soon we were ordering on a daily basis. We even sold our Stairmaster to fund a particularly large set. (It´s not as if we used it anyway.)

Once received, we´d assemble our new set, admire it, then take it apart and add it to the storage bin. Soon, the bin began to overflow, making it necessary to continuously increase our container size to fit our expanding collection.

Then last month it happened: I fell into the Lego bin and became wedged in a very unflattering position. Our fanatical hoarding had driven us to purchase a storage unit that was as big as a grain silo. I wasn´t getting out of there without a crane and an Army National Guard helicopter.

As I sat there waiting to get rescued, I had an epiphany. Legos had taken over our lives. They were everywhere­­—between the couch cushions, stuck in the butter dish, floating in the bathtub. What had begun as an innocent interest had now become a building block obsession.

For this reason, my son and I vowed to abstain from buying any new Legos in 2004.

Then last week the new magazine arrived featuring the Star Wars Imperial Star Destroyer—3014 shiny pieces—touted as the biggest set Lego has ever made.

"Mom?"

"I´ll get the Visa card, Honey."

So much for New Year´s resolutions.